The Eighth Story Mountain of Blood and Tears  Memoirs Volume 1   by Lorie Cramer

Memoirs, Volume 1   ~   Lorie Cramer   ~


This is the preface from my published book now available on

The Eighth Story Mountain of Blood and Tears.


       I was born in the state that has been known as Almost Heaven, which is down in the beautiful mountains of West Virginia. I lived with my mother and grandfather. After my mother moved away, I realized that she was way over the mountain and far away from us. Then, in a few years, I was also sent away from my grandfather's house. At that time I began having continuing nightmares about traveling and climbing all those mountains in search of and looking for my family and home. These dreams have continued throughout my entire adult life.

       My struggles are horrendous in these dreams of the desolate and rugged mountains. My uncharted path is always a scary, sorrowful, and lonely journey of struggling to find my home, trying desperately to get help and find my relatives. Whenever I make it over the mountains, there never seems to be anyone there to receive me, and I never know where I am, or how I might get out of where I end up.

       Most recently, I dreamed that I was traveling over the mountain, and the terrain didn't seem as rugged, and neither did I feel as confused. But just before awakening, I knew that I was at the upper end of a big, round lake. At that time I also realized, and I could see very well, that the lake was a lake of blood.

* * *

       But during Lent of 1992, in an unbelievable and indescribable way, I suddenly started having Crucifixion visions of our Lord. I was there, I was terrified, and for four-and-one-half or five months, I thought that I was going to die during any one of these visions. Yet prior to that time, I finally had decided that I wanted to live.

When my son Jack died in 1990, I wanted to be buried and have the dirt pulled up over me, too. With all the traumas and tragedies that I had already suffered throughout all my life, and also feeling like I was abandoned by God all the time, when Jack died, I simply couldn't take any more. I felt sure that the only answer for me was death. I felt I simply couldn't live after that. Death truly was the only answer for me, because I didn't have the will to live any longer, and I knew that I couldn't survive.

       The Lord seemed to be absent from me all my life, but after Jack's death, I began receiving a love like I had never had before. This was an all-consuming and heavenly love that filled my heart, mind, and soul. I felt at that time that with God's love, I had it all. I had God's love. I was happy. I’d thought that I would never smile again after Jack’s death. But with the love that I was receiving from the Lord, I was exalted, and I had a tremendous desire to live. The Lord had ears and a heart for me and came to my rescue after my son Jack died.

I had already lost my baby, Linda Susan, and the Lord never, never, seemed to notice anything that I was going through or any of the tragedies that I had throughout life. But suddenly I was receiving a love that was fulfilling and exalting. I had it all, then, and I surely wanted to live after that.

       During Lent of 1992, it seemed that all hell broke loose as I had visions of the Lord's Crucifixion for nearly five months. And with every single vision, I thought that I would be dead. I thought my head was on the block, and the death bell would surely be tolling for me. Even with the last vision that poured down upon me, I thought I would die. I was scared to death, because I had become intensely aware that I was a sinner, and I knew that I was not prepared to die.

* * *

       With all the Lord's Blood that I’ve seen, and with all the tears and crying, and with all of the spiritual warfare that I have gone through for many years, it has been like hell. Spiritual warfare is the war of all wars. Still, I am happy now in trying to do the Lord's will, trying to help work for the salvation of my soul and for the souls of others, too. Yet I have finally found love, peace, and joy.

Part of the reason for the title of my book is because of all the desolation I’ve experienced while searching for my home, including my dreams of traveling over the mountains looking for love and my home. Another reason for the title of my book is the unbelievable spiritual warfare I’ve suffered and my visions of the Crucifixion, especially seeing all the Lord's Blood that flowed down from Him. And another reason my book has this title is because I have had many experiences and visions of Fr. Louis (Thomas) Merton. My book title is The Eighth Story Mountain of Blood and Tears. I probably could call the book The Eight Hundred Story Mountain or More, with all the tragedies and traumas I have experienced.

       All of my experiences, dreams, and visions that are in this book were shared with my spiritual father, Fr. Chrysogonus Waddell, OCSO, for discernment. I was always simply amazed when he told me that he thought these experiences were wonderful. He must have overlooked my obtuseness and inability to write. Also, I did not give Fr. Chrysogonus some of the dreams about him, because they were foreboding or had a theme of death. Fr. Chrysogonus told me that someone with my visions, experiences, and dreams used to be known as a victim soul.

       Fr. Chrysogonus, Fr. Michael Casagram OCSO (novice master of the Abbey of Gethsemani Monastery), and other spiritual directors directed me to write and to publish my mystical spiritual experiences, visions, and dreams. I was told by the monks that I have been given impressive pedagogical teachings in my spiritual experiences and dreams. My first spiritual director, Deacon Thomas Quasarono of Lansing, Michigan, urged me to make my experiences known right from the beginning.  But at that time I simply couldn't do it as yet. Fr. Jon Wehrle, pastor of St.Martha Church in Okemos, Michigan, was tremendous encouragement for me. After I would give him a writing he appeared to look very happy and radiant.  Br. Chrysostom Castel, my first spiritual director at the Abbey of Gethsemani had said that I might be directed to write in the future. But at that time I simply couldn't’ do it as yet. So I am doing this, although I am unlearned, and I am trying to do this without expertise. I do not like to write, but I wouldn't want to be on my death bed without completing this writing. I have been charged with the electrifying presence and reality of God's truth, and, as such, that gives me the strength, boldness, and courage to dare to write of such transcendental and obscure mysteries.

       This first volume is only part of my experiences, visions, and dreams. Volume 2 will follow this book, God willing, and thanks be to God. All this is written to give testimony and to witness, although it is revealed in my own lowly way.



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